An afternoon, cleaning my office

"I’m on Molly, LSD, and a little Cocaine. Straightening up my office."

[A winter afternoon, alone at home with my wife]

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15:20

I’m on Molly, LSD, and a little Cocaine. Straightening up my office. I go into the bathroom to let my wife know it’s the time of day you can hear the sunlight in my office. She’s not interested because she’s scrubbing the bathroom, in her own journey, but I invite her nonetheless to come listen to the light, if she chooses.

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15:26

This would have rocked my shit in my twenties. Would have wanted to run to a hospital, thought I was dying. Now, I take a sip of cold water, and feel it down my throat into my kneecaps. It settles on the soles of my feet - which stay cold, and damp. I graze my foot, encased in my knee high stockings, with white lace on the caps - back and forth, on the rough rug’s surface of my office floor. Back and forth. It makes a scratching, electric sound. I feel it behind my ears, and in my eyes.